Waicon 2011

I won best newcomer for saturdays comp. with my Samus Aran suit, which I made for my thesis. Here's some pics:



Guess who rocks? Me!

So now I am planning for Supanova in June and Waicon 2012. So far I have the idea of doing Cassandra from Soul Calibur IV in a group, as well as Samus' Zero suit at Supanova, and Witchblade at Waicon 2012. Some serious effort going into all of these! Haha. Just have to email Waicon and ask if Witchblade is inappropriate. :P

Being a bitch

Heres one way to be a mega huge bitch: use the internet. Specifically, talk smack about people you don't even know and think they wont see it. And when they do see it, backtrack so fast you're almost falling over yourself and your pompous attitude.

Another mistake to make? Being bitches to people who you dont know while having all your information on the internet for them to find. Sure all your twitters, livejournals etc are "friends only" and "private", but I know your real name, your age, where you went to school and where you work. And considering you don't know me at all, thats a very dangerous game to play, darling.

And because you don't know me, I could pretend to be somebody else entirely and very easily gain access to your journals and posts. Or, if you were smart, you would google me the way I googled you. But I'm a little bit harder to find. I don't put my real name next to my alias, because I'm not that stupid.

I'm sorry, but if I've met you, and I know you, and you have a problem with me, you can talk all the shit about me you like. Because then thats your opinion of me, as a person, who you know. I might call you out on it, but at least have the balls to stand by your opinion. I respect that in a person, the balls to say what they think and defend it. But if you've said one sentance to me EVER, and met me for less than 5 minutes? Then that's just plain fucking rude bullshit. And I don't like it at all. So, bitch, we're never going to be friends and we're never going to get along. Because you are the kind of person I really really really don't like. A self-important drama-llama.

Random Outfit Post

So, I've decided I want to do outfit posts, so you can see how cool I am (after all, isn't that the point of them?)


I thought perhaps one a week would suffice, one a day is first off, too self indulgent (lol) and more importantly too much effort.


So, here's my cruddy photo and rundown of my awesome outfit from Tuesday.

Phone cameras for the lose.

Dress: op shop'd, Belt: came with another dress, Shoes: spotsgirl.

How Young is Too Young?

This video has shocked me, and others. It is of a five year old girl being forced to have her eyebrows waxed for a toddler beauty pageant.



This got me thinking, how young is too young to start waxing, dying, primping and preening? 5 is definitely too young and, for the record, i think beauty pageants for children are just plain disturbing. Pedo central.

I remember when I was in primary school (for the record, about the year 2000) and I was 11. Most of the girls in my year was dying their hair, getting top-of-the-ear piercings, nose piercings, and going to friday night discos. No exaggeration. I was one of the unlucky ones who were not allowed to do any of these things, and were then outcast from the social group. This was ten years ago now, I wonder what it's like for girls these days.

Of course it will differ from school to school, but it was at 11 that I was expected, socially, to be growing up and dating boys. I still had no interest in boys at this point! I just wanted my friends to like me. I didn't have the cool clothes, hairstyles, anything like the "popular" girls. It seemed I was lumped in the group with the people who were too fat or dumb (no offense to them, but that was the group they were in.) to be invited to the cool things. I was invited at first but, not being allowed to go, stopped being invited. In a year group of 58 people, that's a big deal.

I was not allowed to shave my legs or pluck my eyebrows then either. But in the first year of high school (the first week, actually.) I had the unfortunate experience of being called a "hairy gorilla" by some girls who then threw fruit at me. This resulted in me sneaking around my house trying to shave without my parents knowing. I felt that, because I wasn't allowed, I was somehow going against them by doing this.

Thinking about it now, I have received a lot of critisism for my appearance before I entered into plucking, dying and shaving. In fact, I have a distinct memory of being told my hair was "brown with a dirty grey shine" and looked "like poo". This is probably the reason I have such ridiculously unnatural coloured hair now.

The pressure on girls and young women to conform is enormous. I, for one, have never had a bikini wax, mainly because my mum wouldn't take me as a teenager (and I never asked), so I learnt to take care of it myself, and still do. I remember at my dance school a girl at 12 had been taken for a bikini wax and tan by her mum in preparation for summer. Her mum said to mine "I just dont want her to be embarrassed." Really, what was there to be embarrassed OF? She's 12 for crying out loud! I don't know, I guess being bought up the way I have makes me think things like that are crazy. But then again, if she had asked her mum and her mum had said no, she would have spent the whole summer being ashamed of herself. Low self esteem is the biggest problem amongst girls and young women... it's such a delicate balance that it's hard to say what's wrong and what's right sometimes. I guess it all depends on you.

Then again, there's pressure as an adult too. Last week I had let my legs grow hairy because I was busy and hadn't had time to do anything about it, and my mother turned to me and said "have you no shame? Do you hate yourself that much that you want people laughing at you?" I thought that was a bit harsh but it's true: if you don't constantly conform to society's idea of how you should look, you are ridiculed for it.

The world is a harsh place. Sometimes, I don't like it at all.

low self esteem musings

i have a problem, but i dont exactly know what it is. I'm not depressed, I love life. It just seems like I get these really strong feelings I'm not welcome when it's probably not true.
For instance, at home with my family I get this really strong feeling they don't want me there, I'm annoying them or I'm in their way.
Maybe I let it get to me because I feel guilty that I'm not everything they wanted me to be. I feel so angry and frustrated at myself for letting them down, and making them so dissappointed in me.
I was thinking the other day about things that I do, and why I do them. Almost everything I didnt come to "because I like it", but "because I want my parents to be proud."
I want to play roller derby well, so that Dad will be proud of me, like he is of my brother. If I was skinnier and fitter, Mum would like me more, and stop being so mad at me for being so ugly and fat.
If I had a real degree, and was a teacher, maybe then they'll be proud of me.
Thats really all I want. And it kills me that it's all my fault that I'm such a dissapointment.

It's sad, because I remember being confident. I loved myself. I thought I was hot shit. I had put on 10 kilos since highschool (so weighed 62kg), I was wearing short dresses, big shoes, bikinis, whatever. I thought I was hot.
But mum was harpin on me about how I was wearing inappropriate clothes for a girl my size, about how i should cover up because I'm not hot, I should wear one piece bathing suits, etc. I guess the constant reminders of that brought me down from my happy cloud. since then I've gained 6 or 7 kilos, I'm too ashamed to weigh myself now.
I cry a lot more too. I guess now, instead of looking in the mirror and seeing a hot young girl, who loves to go out and party, I see a chubby, flabby, useless moron, who cant do anything right, and would rather stay home than go out because i'm ashamed to be out in public, to have people looking at me and taking photos.

I dont think its fair to bully your kids, you have to remember that we're people too, with feelings, and you are the most influential people in our lives. I want you to sit down with me and say "i'm really proud of you for being who you are".

18+ game classification in Australia

So, the argument has come up yet again about R18+ ratings on video games in Australia. In case you aren't aware, MA15+ is currently the highest rating you can give to a game in Australia, refering to "strong" impact, while anything with a "high" impact is rated RC- refused classification or banned.
Also, Australia is the ONLY first world country with NO adult rating on video games.
So, here is my argument.

I do not see why video games are any different to other forms of media: films, magazines, etc. We have many things in our society which you can not purchase if you are under 18, and it is illegal to purchase these on the behalf of minors; for instance alcohol, cigarettes, nudie mags. Why is it not possible to ban advertisements on these higher rated games, to keep them in plain cases (like nudie mags) so theres no cover art and keep them behind the counter like cigarettes, with just a list of games avaliable. And why cant we ask for ID to purchase?

People have argued that games, being interactive, have a greater impact on a person's ability to judge what is and isn't appropriate behaviour in the real world, like being exposed to extreme violence will make you think taking chainsaws to hookers is the cool thing to do(GTA reference, btw.). But here is my issue: game developers WANT their games to be sold in Australia, so currently they are tweaking their games to fit into the MA15+ rating.

For instance, Fallout 3 (2008) is an adult rated game in the US and UK, but was originally banned in Australia because the "drug" you took to regain health was called "extasy". The fact is that this game is set post WWII, after a nuclear disaster has left much of the US destroyed, and full of flesh eating zombies (radiation caused deformities in living people, not the undead. this seems very important for the rating board). The music, first of all, is cheerful wartime music, which is disturbing. The graphics are good, the concepts disturbing, and I am not sure the graphic nature of the game is appropraite for people under 18 (or 21, in some US states.) There is a video below of gameplay from Fallout 3, for your viewing. (Note how the innards and bones are visible when the first enemy is headshotted.)



There is also the problem of parental leniency. I was allowed to watch M15 and MA15 films when I was 12, because I was "practically there anyway" and "mature for my age". This seems to be the opinion of many parents. Taking Fallout3 above, for instance, which remember, is rated ADULT in the US, (and in some states, this means OVER 21!!!) and the only thing changed is a WORD. (For the record, it was changed from "extasy" to "drug X") So now it is avaliable for purchas in Australia, and the ratings board ASSUMES that under 15s arent playing it - but they are. The fact is that parents do not think MA15 is as serious as R18. No parent in their right mind would let a 12 year old watch and R18 movie, but MA15 is different.

The Argument that "allowing these games into Australia will allow children to access them" is inherantly flawed. First of all, they are already here, under the guise of a slightly watered down MA15 version, (it might not be straight vodka, but its still alcoholic!) ALSO, the controversy around the games re-rating gets more people interested, and they seek to access it illegally over the internet. Now, I'm going to let you in on a secret. Many games are avaliable to purchase legally online over a gaming engine called Steam. If you have an Australian ID, you can only purchase the MA15 version. BUT, if you have a US ID, you can purchase the adult version and "gift" it to anyone around the world, Australia included. There is no regulation on this: so Australians are paying Americans to purchase a game which is illegal here: and you only have to be over 13 to have a Steam account.

Are you starting to see now?
Some people say "games are for children, so these adult games are just masquerading in order to sell to children" and I think we all know this is wrong. Most game players, and purchasers in Austrlia are between the ages of 18 and 25. Mainly because children need thier parent's permission and money to buy games, and we (as adult gamers) don't. I think it is condisending to think that I have to play games like Super Mario Galaxy because games are "for children".
Also, if any parent buys these games for their children it is currently their choise. Under the MA15 rating there can be no penalty for supplying to minors. I think the government needs to regulate this immediately. I think people who buy MA15 games for their tweens need to be aware of what they are buying for their kids!

If you are still of the opinion that these games arent so bad, here's some clips of other games that were originally rated "RC" but then altered to be "MA15"


Now onto a gamer's perspective. Having a different rating from other countries ruins the online experience. The fact that Australians get booted off online games because a banned scene is coming up is not only annoying, but the rest of the world's gamers think of us as pussys. They dont want to play with us.

A scene fro Hitman where you poison some agents. Hitman also includes assasinations.


A scene fro Left for Dead 2 (a zombie game). The violence was toned down for Autralian audiences because the zombies were living people infected with a virus and not the undead, thus making the whole game a survivalist massacre.

what is selfish?

this morning my mum said i was selfish for being fat. She said that if i cared about other people i'd want to look nice for them, and should go on a diet. But last week she said Miranda Kerr was selfish for being so thin and successful. Sowhat is selfish? I think its selfish for concentrating on your body so much. Not to say thin people are selfish, but an obsession with your own body is. What do you think?