what is selfish?

this morning my mum said i was selfish for being fat. She said that if i cared about other people i'd want to look nice for them, and should go on a diet. But last week she said Miranda Kerr was selfish for being so thin and successful. Sowhat is selfish? I think its selfish for concentrating on your body so much. Not to say thin people are selfish, but an obsession with your own body is. What do you think?

Wondering?

So today I am heading out to a tea party in Kings park with one of my friends and her other friends. It's themed, so it's a dress up as Steampunk tea party. I've never done steampunk, so I hope I've done it okay.

Dad told me a few weeks ago that Mum is really upset because she feels like she has failed as a parent. Now, this is probably my fault for having an emotional breakdown after I realised I was wasting my life away in a degree that won't get me anywhere. I've had a few of these breakdowns, but one was during a conversation with Mum.

Just now she asked me: "Do you dress up stupid and go and illicit attention in public because I was such a bad parent?" before storming off. First off, I enjoy dressing up because it's fun. I like costumes and fashion and putting things together and wearing them. I am not attention seeking. It's just that dressing up is boring by yourself. I don't understand how dressing up with friends reflects badly on you as a parent? If you know what she means, please tell me. (I can't talk to her, she's locked in her room now. *sigh*)

Perhaps I am being immature and silly. Perhaps, now that I'm 21 and all grown up, I should act like an adult and wear nothing but jeans and tshirts all the time. But I think you get the same amount of attention no matter what you wear. People look at you because you're fat/thin, tall/short, pale/tanned, whatever. If people stare at me, I don't even notice, because I've been bought up not to care about that stuff. I'm just a little eccentric. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person... or that my parents are.

Maybe my Mum's just a bit of a narsisist. It worries me that she takes things such as me dressing up as a personal insult. Perhaps she is slightly mad? I don't know.

Anyways, Mum is mad at me so I better not let her see me for the next half hour before I leave. And I better find some sort of container to carry cupcakes in.
Photos posted later
xxx